that baby thing

Saying No to the ‘Mean-Moms’ Cliques.

Saying No to the Mean Moms Cliques | That Girl Myra

A few months ago, I signed Sofia up for the baby gym. I figured it would be a great place for LB to run around and burn off energy, while I could make some mom friends. I mean, we all know the saying about how raising a child takes a village, and you guys, I am in dire need of finding a village here. 

So off we went to week 1.

As soon as we arrived, it became clear that certain moms knew each other. They were doing the whole ‘talk really loudly and discuss every weekend plan together’ thing. That’s fine, I thought, it’ll just take some time to get to know them.

But as the weeks continued, those same women continued to huddle together and push their children to interact almost exclusively with the other children of their group. On more than once occasion, I watched them steer their children away from playing with other kids they didn’t know by routing them to different parts of the gym. They sat at a table together after class and saved seats for their kids and kids they already knew. It was high school all over again, but in a passive-aggressive-cattiness kinda way.

And suddenly, it occurred to me…why did I care so much to be a part of their group anyways? 

These grown, adult women were acting like mean girls. And, y’all, I don’t want any part of that. That is not who I am and that is not what I was Sofia to learn.

I want her to always be the compassionate little babe that she already is. I want her to play with all kids, regardless of race, religion, gender, etc. It’s our job to teach our children the importance of inclusion and that lesson begins at home. Now when we go to the baby gym, we eat our snacks at various tables, play with all the kids, and chat with everyone — even if they are new and seem a little unsure!

For me, ‘mean-moms’ cliques won’t win. If they want to leave some people out, I’ll happily bring those people in to hang out with me instead. That’s all there is to it. 

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10 Comments

  • Reply
    Jane Ellen
    June 27, 2017 at 5:14 PM

    I’m so proud of you. Those are definitely not the people you or Sofia need in your life. And you know, those moms will suffer in the long run because of their behavior.

    • Reply
      Myra
      July 5, 2017 at 1:24 PM

      Thank you, lovely. I find it sad that at this age and point in our lives, we still deal with such trivial drama! It’s so unnecessary!

  • Reply
    kerri @ cheshire kat
    June 29, 2017 at 1:59 PM

    ugh mean mom groups are SO real. my bff tells me all the time how difficult it is and i get it – it’s like some mean girls never change. sofia is so lucky to have you girly – that wonderful strong independent you!

    xoxo cheshire kat

    • Reply
      Myra
      July 5, 2017 at 1:25 PM

      I truly don’t get it! What does anyone gain from being that way, ya know? Ridiculous!! And thank you <3 I hope I always teach her the value in being inclusive of everyone & for standing up for what is right. xo

  • Reply
    Alyssa
    June 29, 2017 at 2:33 PM

    I don’t have personal experience with moms, but the mean girls (and even mean guys) ideology is still so much more pervasive in adulthood than I thought it would be. It’s ridiculous. Proud of you for not getting swept up and teaching your daughter better 🙂
    (Love the new clothes on the blog too!)

    • Reply
      Myra
      July 5, 2017 at 1:26 PM

      Absolutely agreed. I always figured we would grow out of the high-school-angsty drama, but nope, some people truly carry it around with them forever. Hopefully these people will grow up and get over it someday! (And thank you! I like that there are finally some colors around here :))

  • Reply
    Christina
    July 4, 2017 at 6:17 AM

    This happened to me too, at my kids’ preschool. I thought the kids could have play dates after school and the moms could lean on each other for SAHM support, but I did not find that at all. There were a few different cliques and the teachers actually played into it, so it was the worst. It was a great program though, so I stuck it out. I’m so glad you realized early on that it’s not worth it to worry about it!

    • Reply
      Myra
      July 5, 2017 at 1:27 PM

      Ugh, that sounds awful. But, seeing it already with Sofia’s aged kids, I completely see how it just keeps going as kids get older too. I hope I find more people who have our type of thinking and that somehow we all find each other 🙂 xo

  • Reply
    Pinky
    July 10, 2017 at 9:29 PM

    NO kids here, but I see the mean moms and honestly, like Alyssa said mean girls and boys are everywhere. There is enough sunshine for everyone, let’s all be friends.

  • Reply
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    July 22, 2017 at 7:49 PM

    Thanks for sharing your personal experience with us! It was like a lesson for you. I took into account this situation, and I’ll be following your recommendations!

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