that life thing

Back to Blogging: Something to Remember

back-to-blogging

Today’s post is from the #backtobloggingAGB prompt: One thing about today you want to make sure to remember one year from now.

The nanny had taken Sofia out for a walk. I was bundled up on the couch, eating my lunch, and staring at the dreary weather outside. Blah, I thought. Who would want to even bother venturing outside right now?

And then as I was playing on my phone, my glance happened to fall onto my my 10K Trainer app. “30 minutes,” I thought. “I can make it happen. It’s just 30 minutes.”

I went to the room, put on some workout clothes, got my socks on, and cued up my playlist. As soon as Sofia & the nanny got home, I put on my shoes, said a quick bye, and left the house before I could try to talk myself out of my decision.

But as my luck would have it, the moment I made it outside, the rain began. I debated for a moment. And then since I knew Amir was walking Kobi, I called him — “do you think it’s worth going running in the rain?” “Yes,” he replied. “You can do it. Just go.”

So I started up my app, walked into the rain, and made my way towards the canal that would lead me to the park. I crossed Amir during my 5 minute warmup walk, gave him a hug & a bye, and kept going.

back-to-blogging-that-girl-myra

My warmup wrapped up and the running started. Within minutes, the struggle began. The self doubt that has taken up residency in my brain came tumbling out.

“I don’t want to stop to walk and follow the program.”
“People will think I’m a total wuss.”
“Look at that person go.”
“Man, she’s so much faster than me.”

And then, something came over me. My foot hit the ground, I took a deep breath, and with the exhale, I just let it all go.

See, I’ve been putting all this pressure on myself for the last few months. I want to lose weight. I want to look like I did when I got married. Why can’t I control myself like other people do? Why do I keep falling away from every program I start? But in that exact moment, I just stopped. I wasn’t going to let those thoughts control me any longer.

The running & the walking became just another part of my exercise instead of a fight. And as one foot went in front of the other, I continued to exhale out all the negativity & anxiety I was holding onto in my head. I was smiling, bopping my head to the music, and watching the leaves as they blew all around me.

And for the first time in so long, I allowed myself to truly enjoy the moment. I let the feeling of my feet hitting the track make me happy. I found joy in doing something good for myself without any expectation.

As I was walking back home, I set morning alarms to go run. Not because I feel as if I’m obliged to, but because I wanted to.

back-to-blogging-that-girl-myra

This happiness & this comfort?
I hope I never lose it again. I pray that the feelings I found today stay with me every day. Because, honestly, I’m tired of being down on myself. And because, in a year, I want to look back to this post and know that this was the day that changed my mentality for the better.

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7 Comments

  • Reply
    kerri @ cheshire kat
    November 2, 2016 at 3:05 PM

    lovely post my friend. i have been on the struggle bus to get back into some form of activity. ANY form. sigh. but i really need to do it. inspired me 🙂

    xoxo cheshire kat

  • Reply
    Allison Arnone
    November 2, 2016 at 4:43 PM

    it’s amazing what our bodies are capable of especially when we don’t think we can do something. a little push goes a long way. you go, girl. 🙂

  • Reply
    Lauren
    November 2, 2016 at 8:22 PM

    So much luck to you in staying in that headspace! I have never been a person who liked working out or could zone out while doing it but I have always been so jealous of them – it sounds like a great way to spend 30 minutes!

  • Reply
    Alyssa
    November 2, 2016 at 9:21 PM

    This made me so happy.
    A great quote I heard one time comes to mind: “Inspiration often strikes during work, rather than before it.” I think that applies here, too—it applies to me with running now and again (and totally these days). We so often think that the people who are accomplishing what we want to accomplish are able to do it because they’re constantly motivated or inspired in ways that we aren’t, or we think that hard things require this swell of desire to get them done. But that’s hardly ever the case. More often than not, I don’t remember why I love running or working on other projects until I’m a few steps in. It gotta be discipline or determination that gets you out the door, and just keeps you warm until the inspiration kicks in and moves us ever further along.
    Proud of you. Keep up the good work. I’m always here if you need a virtual running buddy!

  • Reply
    Trish @ The Trish List
    November 3, 2016 at 6:49 PM

    I really need to get back into a better mindset when it comes to working out. Glad to see you were able to do that.

    Trish
    http://www.thetrishlist.com

  • Reply
    Ivonne
    November 29, 2016 at 5:46 AM

    Keep up the good work! Hope you can stay motivated to reach your goals!

    • Reply
      Myra
      November 30, 2016 at 9:03 AM

      Thank you!! I’ve been sick the last few weeks, so hoping I am better soon so I can get back on the trail! xo

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